For those of you who have ever tried high school, then you know the demands it requires. First you think you'll just try a little bit, there's no harm there, right? But one puff, and you're in; stuck forever within its stoney grasp of "education." Some of us got so hooked that we became euphoric about the entire ordeal and actually tried to do well and completed all the homework assignments. But others of us, those who had been strung out on high school for too long still went, due to the unfortunate addiction, but hated every minute of it.
The first time I tried high school, I didn't get addicted right away. I came back for more, five days a week, not really enjoying the experience at all. But then, I stopped noticing that I was going, it felt normal to just get up and go. I was stuck that way for four years.
The first two of those four years were your average underclassmen miserable years, but in the third year, something magical happened. Well, something magical eventually happened.
By my third year in high school I was sixteen and I had found a new euphoria in my high school experience. While going to high school, I also worked at Target part time, and still took my Tae Kwon Do classes. But by now, three years after my starting date at Kim's Academy, I was a deputy 4 belt. That's the belt before black. I was finally ready to test for my black belt! I knew all of my poomses, one-steps, and vocabulary. I was ready!
About a month or two before the black belt test date, my schedule was pretty hectic, but I liked it. I liked being busy. So, I spent Monday through Friday at school, hanging out with homework, doing Tae Kwon Do. I spent my weekends working 8-hour shifts at Target.
One weekend shift, I busied myself running various purchasable items over my scanner, awaiting the impeccable "boop" noise that allowed the transaction to flow, and I very suddenly started not feeling so well. My stomach cramped up and I felt nauseous. I attributed it to the small lunch I'd had and the five hours of sleep I'd gotten the night before, and kept on working.
But then the feeling of nausea got worse and it was then paired with fatigue. I still tried to keep scanning, considering I had a line of customers waiting to be checked out. Then, the cashier in the booth ahead of me turned around and asked me something. Her lips were moving but nothing was coming out.
I couldn't hear her. I couldn't hear anything!
My ears started ringing, and my vision began to fade.
I sank to floor of my cash register and blacked out.
Next thing I knew, I was lying in the aisle behind my cash register, in the arms of a strange man, my supervisor at my feet. They were laying me down, stretching my feet out in front of me. Then an orange juice showed up out of nowhere in my peripheral, all opened with a straw sticking out of it. Woozy, I accepted the drink. There were two people-in-charge surrying around me, getting my mom's phone number, my grandma's phone number, etc. The next thing I knew I was being lifted to my feet and escorted to a back room to wait for my aunt and my cousin to come pick me up. I was escorted right past a stretcher - that was a weird sensation, knowing it was for me.
After everything had calmed down and I was fully conscious, I discovered that there had been an EMT and a certified nurse in my check out line and they moved into action as I began passing out. The EMT was the man whose arms I'd woken up in and his wife, the nurse, was the carrier of the orange juice. Later, the paramedics were called and they were the ones who escorted me to the back room, and who had also brought in the stretcher.
When I went to the doctor the following day, she told me that I was too stressed out! And that I had to chill out if I wanted to avoid any more of these passing out situations. So, I took a leave of absence from Target and continued preparing for my black belt test.
When I told my sabumnim what had happened, he told me that I could postpone my testing. But I figured that I was going to be all right, since I had taken some time off of work; besides, I couldn't wait anymore to get my black belt! I could finally join the distinguished league of black belt awesomeness!
It was going to happen.
Public enemy #1: The fitness test. More specifically, running.
I've always been, and still am, awful at running, but I had to do it.
I had my little episode in May of 2007 and my black belt test was to take place in June 2007.
Here's the breakdown of the test:
There's a physical education part that consists of running one mile, doing about a million push ups, squats, leg lifts, and all sorts of other terrible things. Then there was a water break, then forms. All eight of the taeguk poomses. After that we had to do a varied assortment of one-step sparring techniques, board breaking, then, at last, sparring.
We also had to drive to headquarters in Centerville, which is way far away from where I used to live. My two cheerleaders: my best friend and my mom.
By the time we finally arrived, after getting lost, I was as excited as ever. There weren't any nerves at all! I was ready to prove myself on this most glorious of days.
I did my physical training well, until the running came. Since the do jang we were testing in didn't have a mile running lap in it, we had to run across the mats twenty times, full circle. I was the slowest and the last one to finish. I was beaten by everyone on my little team by at least three or four minutes. So, there I went, jogging back and forth, ignoring any rising self consciousness.
But at last, that was over and the real test began. The rest of the test wasn't easy, but it was much less humiliating than running by yourself, and I completed it well, even in front of Grand Master Kim and other masters and students I'd never met before. At the end of the nine hour test, we all finally lined back up and we all received our new black belts.
I'm having trouble putting into words just how... amazing it was, to finally get my black belt. I felt so many positive things swimming around in my brain as I held the black, two inch cloth in my hands. Glory. Ecstacy. Pride. Accomplishment.
It took three years but I had earned my black belt. My sabumnim was there, as proud as ever, and he gave me a huge hug in congratulations.
I had done it.
My plan was to stop there, as a first Dan black belt, but by the next week back in TKD classes, that all had changed.
But, there's just one more thing that earning my black belt did for me: it cemented my confidence. For those of you who know me, we can all agree that I did a 180 degree transition between the first and last two years of high school. For the first two I was shy, quiet, sad, and lived in my own little world. But by the next two, I was extroverted, smiling, happy, and doing the things that I wanted to do. I got my black belt just after this turning point in my life and I have to say, Tae Kwon Do really helped to make that transformation happen.
